You understand the principle, but you’re gonna suck at it for a while.Īnd I was terrible. I’d seen enough porn to get a general idea, but it’s like learning to drive stick by watching Top Gear. What can I say? It was huge, and it hung to the left. You don’t forget giving your first blowjob There might not be next time (spoiler alert: there were several next times). I’d somehow mustered up the courage to get this far, so I figured I might as well go all the way. Somewhat dorky.Īnd I’d already made up my mind I was going to blow him. I don’t exactly remember what he looked like. I wasn’t here to go on a date with the guy we were going to blow each other in a public restroom. He was about 18 years old and not bad looking We quickly made plans to meet in a community center bathroom close by that I knew would be reasonably private. Any shame I might have felt about being turned on was tuned out by my desire to have sex. The rational me took a backseat, and I wasn’t in control anymore. Sexual arousal took the wheel and started driving. What if he wasn’t 18? What if he had an STI? What if he forced me to do things I didn’t want to do?īut of course, I didn’t think about any of those things. I said yes before I could think of all the reasons I should have said no. Related Podcast Episode: I Gave Erotic Massages to Women I said yes to a blowjob before I could say no I’m not sure I wanted to blow him, but he seemed to indicate that part would be optional. The idea of getting a blowjob from a stranger sounded hot. I went to close the browser as fast as I’d wanted to close hotstud.jpg.īut I hesitated. “I’ll give you a blowjob, and you can give me one too if you want,” he replied. We started talking, and he eventually asked me if I wanted to meet up. One day I received a private message from a guy claiming to be 18 years old. I’d spend hours on AOL chatting and trading pictures with strangers. Was I just a horny teenager, or was I attracted to guys as well? Could I be straight but also into masturbating to photos of cocks? It wasn’t just gay porn that I looked at, but it was in heavy rotation. My collection grew until I had a pretty decent folder and was routinely masturbating to these images. I started spending more time in chat rooms talking to guys. Related Podcast Episode: Exploring Sexual Intimacy But I never deleted those images Remember, this is 16-year-old me talking.
I didn’t want to be turned on by images of naked men. Women always turned me on, and up until now, I’d only ever wanted a girlfriend.
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I didn’t know what to think or how to proceed. Would I be tormented more than I already was? I came from a loving family but would my parents still accept me? Was it time to kiss my dream of having a wife and kids goodbye? To say I didn’t entirely fit in is an understatement. I was the kid getting pushed into lockers, made fun of, and someone once threw me in a trashcan, ass first. Making friends at school was already challenging for me. I didn’t know how people close to me would react. I didn’t have a concept of sexuality at that point, but I knew that being gay was going to fuck things up for me. My dad picked me up after, and I was sure he could smell sex on me.īy the time I saw hotstud.jpg, I’d had two girlfriends so in my mind, I was straight. I lost my virginity to a girl at a party when I was 15 years old. Related Podcast Episode: Cultivating Your Pleasure Terrified that I might be gay But getting turned on by a picture of a naked dude? I had a hard time swallowing that (pun very much intended). My eyes wandered to his cock, and I got turned on. I quickly went to close the file, but then I hesitated. Big muscles, a nice tan, and a huge hard cock. Then one day, I opened up a file named hotstud.jpg.Ī hot stud indeed, letting it all hang out. You know, your typical straight dude porn. Every time I logged on to AOL, I’d hear the iconic “You’ve got mail” and open up my inbox to a plethora of porn. I’d go to a chatroom, chat with some strangers, and end up trading pictures with them. People would meet up online, engage in cybersex, organize sex dates, or trade pornographic pictures and videos. There were chatrooms for just about everything, but the most popular ones had to do with sex and porn. Virtual meeting rooms where folks came together to chat about a variety of topics. If Craigslist was around, I certainly didn’t know about it.įor me, that meant getting my jollies out the old fashioned way: via AOL chatrooms. How did I go from being a straight teenager to giving and receiving a blowjob from a stranger in a community center bathroom? Well, read on. Giving My First Blowjob as a Straight TeenagerĬould I be straight and want to give a dude a blowjob?